took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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