I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize