i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
