Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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