I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize