you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
