I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
