HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
