He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize