He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize