My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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