What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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