Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
