JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
