Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
