I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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