Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize