It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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