Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize
