Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize