My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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