He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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