p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
