Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
