They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
