i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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