By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Jerry, you need to find god
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
