It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
