if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize