after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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