There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
