So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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