I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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