dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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