Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
