I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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