This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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