don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
