I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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