He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just cropdusted the office
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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