Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
