i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
