i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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