Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
