I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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