There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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