why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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