My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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