I swear she didn't look like that last week.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
