I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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