Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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