i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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