dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he thought i was a dude.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
