If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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