And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
