I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to sanitize my soul.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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