Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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