I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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