You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
