I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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