if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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