I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
