please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
