At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
