the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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