You're completely useless in the revolution.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
