Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
