wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
