You really coming over, don't trick.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have aggressive nipples.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
