Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
