If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize