AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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